Article Published in http://www.deccanchronicle.com/node/113434
I met Anu Bose when I was 14. We had a common close friend in Delhi, and I would see her every time she visited from Mumbai.
A little intimidated by her rebellious style, I stayed away from getting to know her better. Since I lost touch with our common friend, I lost touch with Anu, only to meet her years later in Mumbai as Anu Ansari.
I now noticed a change in her. Her rebellious streak had given way to a calm and more reserved person. Very different from the girl I knew, who was full of life, fun and wore her heart on her sleeve. Although we bumped into each other on and off and promised to meet often, we never got down to actually doing it. Finally, I called her for my birthday party after knowing her for 30 years.
She came with her friend who was a Salsa teacher. Even though I had a sprained toe, we danced and had a great time. She convinced me to come to her new studio. Something had changed in her. “Salsa opened something inside me that was locked for too long, and it set me free,” she said, as we sat in Studio 189, her chic and neat dance studio in Tardeo. “Dance and music are in sync with what you feel. Salsa connects the dots between what you feel and who you are. The dance has allowed me to express how I feel with freedom,” she said.
“As women, all our lives we end up playing different roles,” she added. Anu is a great sister to her brother, actor Rahul Bose, who she describes as “her backbone” and their relationship as two souls merged into one. She is a homemaker and a responsible mother to her daughter, Alya, who she calls her very “heartbeat”. “There was no space for me. Duty was my commitment and duty my goal. My own person took a back seat, and I lost myself,” she said.
“There was no space for my feelings, aspirations or goals. I became a different me, and slowly got shrouded by insecurity and low self-esteem. Many women go through a change once they turn 40. My mother once said to me, ‘A woman needs to revalidate herself as an individual — without tags attached of belonging to anyone’,” Anu said.
Alya, Anu’s 15-year-old daughter, recognises her mother’s devotion towards her upbringing. She gave Anu an ultimatum. “Within a year, I want you to be happy, working and in a relationship,” she told her loving mother.
“There were a lot of things pent up inside me in the form of stress and compromise. Dance allowed me to be myself. When I dance, it’s my space and I am protective abo-ut it,” she said. “Salsa helped me get my confidence back.” “In life there comes a time when you look at yourself critically, know your strengths and your dark spaces; know what you are capable of, recognise your weaknesses, and then accept yourself,” she continued.
“I am happy and comfortable with myself today. No more killing myself trying to be perfect. I got lost trying to do that. Perfection is indeed a bubble, and pressure makes it pop at some point,” she added. Many 40-plus women and younger people use Studio 189 to rejuvenate themselves, release their tension, and give themselves a chance to feel a selfish pleasure. “We are empty vessels at the end of the day,” said Anu. “You need to refill it to be able to give back,” she adds.
